Hey knight, why are you so depressed? Is it because it’s balls cold and you have to stand outside all night?
Hey knight, why are you so depressed? Is it because you look like crap and it’s winter-time?
Your face is kinda red – you should get that checked out.
(Here the knight starts to speak because he’s telling a story so go get your mug-o-cocoa and sit the fuck down.)
I met some hot chick in the meadow and she was so pretty, a fairy could have pushed her out of her vagina.
Her hair was long and she was super thin and her eyes looked crazy.
I decided to braid some flowers together (‘cause I’m crafty like that) and give it to her as a crown.
Oh and I also make bracelets…swag.
Then she looked at me like she was falling in love with me and moaned a little bit because my hotness was giving her mini-orgasms.
I put her on my horse and watched her ride it and sing super hot songs.
She fed me delicious things she found and I could’ve been hallucinating from all the crazy shit she made me eat, but I thought she said that she loved me.
She took me back to her place and as soon as we got there she started crying and I felt really bad so I kissed her eyes and then I fell asleep and dreamed crazy dreams.
I dreamed that there were kings, princes and soldiers but they were super pale like ghosts.
They all started shouting at me and warning me about that hot chick at whose place I was crashing.
They all looked really scary and hungry so I decided to wake up.
I’m outside in the cold all alone because I had a dream with lots of scary dudes and now I don’t have a girlfriend.
