Since she (my car) was new,
she was sort of tense
so I was cautious.
I oiled her up really well, of course
And felt to make sure she was ready for action.
(If you haven’t figured out that this poem isn’t actually talking about a car,
you need to pay closer attention.)
I tried to turn her on, but I guess I was too quick,
’cause she freaked out (what the fuck?)
so I backed the fuck off and started all over again.
Going really slowly, I tried again to get her going
And seeing as she was a 10, there was no problem,
And I was all smooth, and touched her in just the right spot,
and then, oh fuck yes,
we were going.
(You must know what he’s talking about by now. Let’s be real.)
For my first time riding her,
And for her first time being ridden,
It was surprisingly good.
Now that we were really moving,
I touched her in all the right places at once
(Sex. This poem is about sex. Not with a car, with a fucking hot chick.)
And I made her have a giant fucking orgasm.
